Glowing Skin Smoothie + Mask

Glowing Skin Smoothie

Let’s get REAL awkward today. Yes, I wholeheartedly mean that. Some of you may NEVER look at me the same again. Intrigued??? Read.

Who doesn’t want clear & glowing skin?? You know we all have that one friend who is blessed with zit free & supple skin? The one friend that neglects their skin & doesn’t even wash their makeup off at the end of the day… & they STILL have clear skin?! Well this post isn’t for THAT bitch ;)

This post is for my people who actually have to WORK at clear skin!! *high fives*

I am writing this as I sit here with period pimples & skin drier than a snake that’s just shed itself. Let’s not even talk about the chocolate craving; that’s a whole other post. Isn’t it bad enough that I have the zits of a pubescent teenage boy… but no, let’s throw some mess into those pants while we’re at it. NBD. Girls are tough as fuck though! Hahaha. Told you, you are picturing me entirely different now!!

How I beat breakouts, dry & dull skin?! THIS GLOWING SKIN SMOOTHIE. This isn’t just for girls; men are encouraged to participate as well ;) Men, don’t let my period rant stop you from trying this recipe. BE A MAN & TRY IT. << Sorry, hormones be a-ragin’.

In order to beat your own skin, you need to detox it from the inside out! This delicious smoothie contains a TON of Vitamins: A, B, C, E & K. It boosts collagen & contains plenty of antioxidants which are naturally anti-aging. Bye-bye period skin! Hello glowing skin!

Once you detox your insides, it’s time to focus on the outside! My best gal pal turned me on to this mask & OMG, I can never go back! It helps calm & soothe any uneven skin tones & redness caused by blemishes. Holy Toledo—AAAMAZING SHIT.


So basically if you’re feeling ugly AF today:

Go buy this mask.

Go buy the ingredients to make this smoothie.

Do them both tonight, & feel fucking FANTASTIC after.

Crude mom OUT.


PS I was reading my post out loud to myself & my toddler yells, “DON’T SAY THAT MOMMY”. Even he knows I’m crude AF.



Serves: 2 glasses

Prep Time: You tell me…



1 cup coconut water, cold

1 cup strawberries, frozen

1 cup mango chunks, frozen

1 cup carrots (I cheated & used baby carrots. Sue me.)

1 navel orange, peeled



1.    Put all the ingredients in a blender & start drinking your way to glowing skin <3

Glowing Smoothie

Glowing Smoothie

Glowing Smoothie

Glowing Smoothie

Glowing Smoothie

Glowing Smoothie

Glowing Smoothie

Glowing Smoothie



Submitted by Chelsea (not verified) on Mon, 08/20/2018 - 22:41

Dry skin: check.
Redness and Period Pimples: check.
A shit ton of shit to do: check.
Wearing this mask and drinking this smoothie while I do the shit: check.
Love your blog :)

hahaha a woman after my own heart <3 thanks Chelsea--that totally made my day!!!

Submitted by Jessica (not verified) on Mon, 10/08/2018 - 21:26

Lol that's literally what I've been doing since I started reading this. I love it! will definitely try this out.

hahaha ohhhhh girl!! Obviously, you know I feel your pain <3 ALL THE HUGS Jessica :) You got thisssss!!!

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